Sunday, January 22, 2012

Day Twenty-Six: You mean a lot.

Day Twenty-Six: A picture of something that means a lot to you.

So yesterday... Was quite the day.
I woke up at 5:00AM to get ready and be out of the house by 6:00AM and headed for Salt Lake City where I would be rehearsing in the LDS Conference Center to sing in the choir for the live world wide broadcast of the Seminary Centennial celebration.
I quickly got ready and all packed. I had my camera bag, my shoulder bag which carried hair and make-up products, writing utensils, chap stick, wallet, you know stuff like that. And then I had my pink backpack that had my change of clothes for Saturday after the rehearsal, and for a second Sunday outfit. Because the plan was to go to my rehearsal, then out to Anthony and Missys house to spend the rest of the day taking pictures with Anthony, spending the night, going to church, and then off the the Conference Center for the performance.

Well, that didn't happen.
I got to the rehearsal Saturday morning (after getting lost many times) and it was fabulous. I got to park under the conference center and got to talk with cool people and it was just AMAZING. Well that ended and I went out to lunch with Nate and then we went back to his place. Well I left his house and began heading to Anthonys house and it began snowing. Ugh I hate the snow. As I saw the snow coming down I began to pray. I prayed my heart out. "Please, please protect me. Please let me make it safe. Please please. Please let me be okay. Please."
On and on. I just prayed the whole time.

As I drove down the freeway going about 30 miles per hour my car spun out of control and I did a 360 deal and ended up three lanes from where I originally was. I was screaming and quickly went into reverse and got into the side area where cars go if they are having issues. And believe me, I was having issues. I was out of everyones way and took a couple deep breaths and waited for a gap of cars and then began going again.
I got about two or three miles down the road when my car went spinning again. The nose of my car went into the lane to the left of me and the rear of my car was in my original lane. I was a little diagonal. My car had completely stopped. Before I could get it pulled off to the side of the road, but moments after I had stopped a tow truck came and hit the back end of my car. As you see here...

I pulled over to the right side of the road and waited for police and got on the phone with two of my brothers back and forth. Hyrum, and Samuel. After a little while the officer followed me and the tow truck off the next exit about a mile or so down the freeway. We went about 15-20mph getting down and off. We pulled into a small parking lot. And at this point I still hadn't gotten out of my car or seen the damage. It wasn't for another hour or two that I actually got out to take the officer the paperwork and began walking back to my car that I saw the damage and began crying even more than I originally was.

After everything was finished with the cop he and the tow truck guy left and I was left crying in my car in the parking lot for a little while before Hyrum and Samuel came to rescue me. My brothers are a huge part of my life. And Hyrum and Samuel are two people that I can always count on. As they pulled up I got out of my car and Hyrum quickly came over and gave me a very long and loving hug. I had hoped to mostly pull myself together when they got there because they heard me cry for so long over the phone. But as he hugged me I just burst into tears. I felt so safe in his embrace, but I still just couldn't get the image out of my head of looking up and seeing that tow truck come right at me.

I went and sat in Samuels truck as they tried to figure out what to do. And when we finally left, Samuel, who hadn't said a whole lot to me, put his arm around me (we were in his truck there were three seats in front so I was in the middle) and he was just so kind. Let me warn you all, Samuel is amazing, but driving with him after being in the accident was sort of... Well freaky. He is a very skilled driver and sometimes I worried he was too skilled. I kept having to close my eyes he would get so close to cars. I closed my eyes so much, and didn't ever want to look at the road after the accident, that I finally fell asleep leaning in on Samuel. It was good that I fell asleep and that the ride seemed so quick for two reasons. 1. I hadn't completely pulled myself together, I was still in shock. And 2. I really had to pee and they don't understand what it is like for a girl to try and hold having to go to the bathroom so they wouldn't pull over for me. So it was good I passed out because I didn't have to worry about it. Ha...

Words can't even beginning to express the pain I feel for being in this accident. I feel so awful. As for injuries, I don't have any open wounds. I am very sore all over and I have bruises near my shoulder and on my chest from the seatbelt. Singing today in the broadcast was amazing, but taking deep breaths is so painful. I just ache.

Last night I slept for almost an hour. I cried so much. And every time I fell asleep it was just nightmare after nightmare. Kept replaying seeing the tow truck. And I keep hoping that this is all not real. I can't believe it happend. It is just killing me. I sent my dad a picture of the car. And then sent him another text saying "Dad. I prayed. Ever since I got into my car I prayed that I would be safe. Why wasn't I safe? ): " he said that maybe I needed to learn a lesson, or maybe someone else did, or maybe it was simply just an accident.

I think I have learned my lesson though. Be where you are supposed to be.

Today Samuel took his truck and went to pick up the car and drop it off at our mechanic. I don't know what happens from here. But I pray that everything will work out for us.

So as for pictures of something that means a lot to me? Well here they are.

Hyrum, you mean so much to me. You have been an incredible older brother. And you have been looking out for me for years. I know I have posted about you before. But I really do just love you. Remember when I was in 4th grade and convinced you to let me get a free puppy from my friends neighbor? (Which I named M&M's and you nick named "hangover" because the poor puppy could not walk straight. He was so clumsy. And every time I asked what "hangover" meant you wouldn't tell me. Well guess what? I know now. Not nice. haha) And the elderly guy kept asking if I was your daughter and then finally just referring to me as your daughter. So nuts. I love you Hyrum. You are incredible. Thank you for being there for me yesterday.
I needed it to be you.

Samuel. If you don't know that I love you by now then I don't know how to tell you. Because I feel like I always am posting stuff about you and how incredible you are. You were with friends when I called you yesterday and you left in a heartbeat, without even thinking twice to come for me. Samuel I will always be grateful that you were there for me yesterday. You have done so much for me for years. Thanks for the pepper spray for my 16th birthday.(: I take that with me pretty much everywhere. I love you Samuel. I really do.