Wednesday, September 21, 2011

"God blesses those who believe in miracles."

"5:46 AM.
This morning I awoke gasping for air.
I looked slightly to my right and saw the nurse put his hands together while looking up and saying;
'Thank you God. Thank you!'
He then looked down at me and said; 'princess, the monitors went off. We were worried we could lose you. I don't know what happened.'
I moved my right arm across the hospital bed to grab the nurses wrist,
but that sharp familiar pain hit me like a dart.
I gasped, then rolled to my side and placed my hand on my heart.
'Oh my gosh! It hurts it hurts!!!'
I couldn't say anything else. This pain was something different.

The crew tried to straighten me out to see if there were any physical signs of what might hurt.
But the tears went falling like a rain storm.
'It hurts!' I repeated over and over. 'Help me. Please. Do something! It hurts!'
A man I had never seen before came running into the room after being called for.
He tried calming me down but I knew he didn't understand.
The last thing I remember was being moved onto a gurney and them running me down the hall.
'She needs surgery, NOW!' The man yelled. 'This can't wait. We can't even wait for her to be sedated.' He then looked at me, 'Do you understand that? It's going to hurt for a minute. But we need to do this.'

I couldn't help but cry. I called for one of the nurses and she came over seeing me in all my pain she grabbed my hand and asked if she could comfort me in anyway as they got things poked into me.
I begged her to say a prayer with me.
And as they shoved needles into my arms and began putting disinfectant on the area they were cutting open she said a prayer.
Not the kind of prayer I expected, but it had to be fast.
All she said was 'Lord, bless our faith. Help us to be humbled this day. And help us to believe in miracles. Amen.'

I just cried. I pleaded in my mind with the Lord that he help show me why I need this experience.
A blood curdling scream came out as they made their incision and moments later I blacked out.

The surgery lasted twenty minutes longer than expected.

I awoke nearly seven hours later with a throbbing headache and just began to cry.
I grabbed my phone to see what I had missed.
Just recently I had missed a text from a really close friend. And I read the last text they sent me the night before. Which read; '...Everything will be okay. And you know it.'
No one knew I would end up having surgery this morning.
No one knew. And that text had nothing to do with anything today. But how odd huh?
That comforted me. And I am so happy. That text is helping me.
I haven't shown my happiness very much today.
But I am so thankful for my life.
And I am thankful to my dear dear friend who sent that text.
It had nothing to do with this. And it made my day.

I am in a tiny room that is filled with medical equipment which doesn't allow any room for visitors.
I have needles in me, and bruises everywhere.
My body is so sore.
It's difficult to handle.

But that prayer my nurse said for me keeps running through my mind...
'Help us to be humbled. And help us to believe in miracles.'

Jesus preformed miracles that were just unbelievably incredible.
And I know his hand had a help in this today.
I consider myself lucky to be here each day.

And each day I get out of bed and pray that I will be able to be a better person and to better understand this time and the gospel. I pray that I might be a blessing to someone today and that perhaps I might be an answer to someones prayer. I pray that I will help those I come across to have a good day. And that I will have the chance to smile at all those who need an extra friend today.

Today I didn't say that prayer.
But I know God is there. I couldn't say my prayer but he still answered it.
Because I am still here today.
And I am here with more pain, but even more faith today.
I know God blesses those who believe in miracles.
I know God blesses those who have an unbelievable amount of faith and trust in him.
I pray that I can be a better example.
Today is a new day. And a different day.
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain.
But He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears,
and light for the way.
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
And tomorrow will be better,
because I was blessed today."